Metalwork
by x-benihime
Summary: Still recovering from a bad relationship, Lucy struggles with returning a white scaled scarf to its owner—the pink-haired man always running around her apartment complex. A man who seems like he might be just what she needs to heal. T for adult themes. Modern AU. NaLu. TwoShot.
1. Melt Down

_**A/N:** This just wouldn't get out of my head, so I decided to write it down. Some hurt/comfort for ya._

 _ **Fandom:** Fairy Tail_

 _ **Pairing:** NaLu_

 _ **Rating:** T - adult themes_

 _ **Summary:** Still recovering from a bad relationship, Lucy struggles with returning a white scaled scarf to its owner—the pink-haired man always running around her apartment complex. A man who seems like he might be just what she needs to heal. Modern AU. NaLu. TwoShot._

* * *

 **melt down  
** /melt-ˌdau̇n/

 _verb_

to heat a metal until it becomes liquid,  
especially in order to make something new from it

* * *

She saw him almost every day, around the apartment complex. He'd appear a few doors down and would often be running around the building, doing laps.

She'd catch glances of him from the window of her reading and writing alcove. The scuff of his shoes against the gravel caught her attention—not always voluntary, but it didn't really matter to her.

He intrigued her.

It was his hair at first.

The flash of pink had caught her attention the first time she'd noticed him run by, and though she found it odd, her thoughts quickly returned to her book since she'd probably never see him again.

Until again, he ran by the window, a sheen of sweat forming as he continued to run for over half an hour.

And it wasn't just the one day. He'd run, every day at the same time for the past few months, and she hadn't necessarily been…watching him per say.

But she'd noticed things.

Sometimes he would forego a shirt, but his iPod was always wrapped around his bicep, and a scaled scarf was always tied around his hips securely. Those were always a constant and she wondered about the scarf sometimes.

He was always alert.

He kept a keen eye on the kids' park nearby, and a few times he'd run over to help a kid who had fallen down, or scold a child for bullying. He'd notice and worry if the mailman was late doing his rounds, and Lucy would watch as he paused his run to talk to him.

She tried to stop. She did her best to change her reading and writing times, to not look up whenever she knew he'd be there, but she was curious about him.

She wondered what he was really like.

A dangerous thought.

Shaking the vivid images from her brain, the blonde slung her purse over her shoulder before exiting her condo and locking it. She threaded her keys through her knuckles and slid her closed fist into her sweater pocket before making her way to her car.

She pulled her hood up.

She felt the fabric of her clothes pull back in response to the pink-haired runner nearly knocking into her, and she turned back briefly to get a glance. He stumbled, almost tripping over his feet as he slowed and looked in her direction.

"Sorry, 'bout tha—"

He cut himself off and looked down to the iPod on his bicep, brow furrowed. He slid his thumb across the screen and began talking.

Well…in that case it was most likely an i _Phone_ …not an i _Pod_.

Shaking her head, Lucy was moving back in the direction of her car when a flash of white caught her eye.

Scrunched up in a pile of fabric, was the scarf she'd always seen tied around his hips. Should she just leave it there?

No. She couldn't do that.

But she couldn't be late for her appointment either.

So she quickly stuffed the scarf in the confines of her purse before jumping in her car and taking off down the street.

…..

The scarf was beautiful.

It was soft beneath her fingers and thumbs, which seemed impossible since the pleated scales were just that. Scales.

How could scales be that soft? And how the hell could scales be woven together into a scarf?

"Lucy?"

She looked up at her shrink.

"What've you got there?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

At first glance, Erik could be terrifying with his bright purple hair, the vertical scar warping the skin of his right brow, eyelids and upper cheek, and his sharper than average canines. But much to Lucy's surprise, she didn't mind him.

Which he'd been hesitant about as well.

 _"You know you can request a female psychiatrist, right? I won't be offended if—"_

 _Lucy had shaken her head._

 _"I don't care. I trust you. I'm not transferring now."_

She'd been surprised herself that she felt comfortable talking to him about what had happened, though she guessed it was because he was male she wanted him. She wanted his opinion on things, his male perspective, and more often than not he would assure her that it wasn't normal.

What _he_ —her ex—had been doing to her and how he'd been making her feel, wasn't normal. It wasn't healthy, and it was okay for her to be affected as she was by it.

It was just the memories. The flashes. She couldn't get rid of them. Of the first time she didn't want. Of the guilt she felt at not wanting it. Of forcing herself to be okay and forcing herself to want it because she believed no-one else could ever love her.

Because who in their right mind could?

He'd said so enough times to make her believe that, and she hadn't noticed that something was really wrong about her relationship with him until he'd physically forced her.

And those memories were more haunting than the first.

"It belongs to a guy who runs around my building," she muttered, folding it carefully. "It's usually around his hips but I guess it came loose for some reason. I found it but didn't have time to return it if I was going to be here on time."

Erik looked at her with curious eyes, "Who is he?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. He just kinda showed up one day, running around my apartment building. It's been that way for a few months. My guess is he lives in the complex somewhere."

Erik nodded, "Have you spoken to him?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Will you give him his scarf back?"

She raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with his implication, "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, "Because you actively avoid confrontation with others. Especially those of the opposite sex nowadays."

Lucy glared, "I talk to you."

"I don't really count."

The blonde frowned.

"Lucy," he sighed, "you're making steady progress. You aren't as affected. Your PTSD is under control and you're no longer having severe anxiety attacks." Erik leaned back in his chair, violet locks falling over his cheek. "But you're holing yourself up and that's only going to prolong your depression and apathy."

Lucy looked away, "I'm not holing myself up. I'm reading and writing."

"You're distancing yourself," he said firmly, "it has to stop. You can't isolate yourself forever if you're going to try and feel normal again."

"There's no such this as normal, Scarface," she spat softly, under her breath.

"Ey, I heard that."

"Bullshit," she grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Erik just laughed.

"Girlie, I hear everything."

She didn't doubt it.

…

The scarf weighed a ton.

Okay. Maybe it didn't actually weigh a ton. But each day it sat in her bag, it seemed to get heavier. She wanted to return it, she really did.

But he'd stopped running, and she had no idea where he lived or what his name was.

You'd think finding a guy with pink hair would be easy, but apparently everyone was as baffled as she was. The kids at the playground loved him, but had no idea where he went after they left the park while he was still running. The mailman didn't know either, though he'd heard him mention something about how there was a guy he worked with who loved freezing metal swords and pressing it to his skin to freak him out.

So she wracked her brain for everything she'd noticed in the past few months when he'd been running.

He was fit. That was for sure. Not just his legs and arms from running, but his shoulders and back. They'd tense on their own without him doing any other sort of exercise, which she could only assume would be from his job.

So physical labor.

From what the mailman said, he worked around metal. Unfortunately that didn't narrow things down so much. Metal could be any sort of machinery, or a manufacturing plant, or a deep sea welder for all she knew.

This wasn't getting her anywhere.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Lucy decided to take a shot in the dark.

There was no way this was going to work.

A few miles from her apartment on the outskirts of town, was a blacksmith's shop set up in a barn of sorts. They made everything from train track pegs to movie weapons and replicas. Lucy had never been there before, but with what the mailman had told her…

It was her best bet.

There were a few cars parked at the side of the building as she pulled up, cradling her bag to her chest. There was a strange symbol hanging above the open double doors and a large sign that said _Fairy Tail_. The letters were large and haphazardly nailed on—a few seemed to be a little loose and bent.

Lucy got out of her card, tightening her hold on the bag.

"I can do this," she whispered to herself.

With one foot in front of the other, the blonde made her way toward the entrance past the other cars parked around the barn. The loud clang of metal against metal made her flinch but was soon drowned out by various fits of shouting.

"I swear to god you pyro, if you fuck this up again—"

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it, Metalhead. Last time wasn't my fault."

"You think Titania is gunna give a shit who's fault it is? This armor was supposed to be done a week ago!"

"Well I'm fucking sorry I lost the last damn thing Igneel gave me and had to go and look for it. Want me to burn your gloves so we'll be even?"

A loud crash echoed, silencing everything.

Lucy peered around the corner.

A man with long black tufty hair loomed over who Lucy assumed was the second guy in the conversation. He was shirtless, covered in scars and various piercings and currently clutching the front of the other guy's tank. The other guy was wearing a welding mask, so she couldn't see much other than the bright red tattoo on his shoulder. The same symbol that was hanging from the doorway.

"Say that again you piece of—"

"Gajeel."

The man with the piercings froze, slowly turning to the source of the voice. Another shirtless guy walked up.

What was with these guys and clothes? You'd think working around metal they'd be putting clothes on to protect themselves.

"Levy's working on an engraving, she needs you."

With one last glare at the welder, Gajeel loosened his hold on him, letting him fall back into his seat.

Lucy watched as he muttered to himself, rounding a nearby corner until he was out of sight. The blonde let out a relieved sigh at his absence. She had no idea what she was getting into. Maybe home would be a better idea.

"I didn't need your help, Ice Frea—"

 _CLANG!_

 _"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, GRAY?!"_

Gray just smirked, tossing a chunk of ice to the ground. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and Lucy took in the mark that was on the right side of his chest.

"Picking a fight with Gajeel about the gloves obviously. You know how he gets about them."

The welder brought his hands to the chin of his mask, nearly ripping it off his face in frustration, "Yeah. Which is how he'd know how I felt about my scarf."

Lucy's stomach flipped.

It was him.

She'd found him and could finally give back the damn scarf that now weighed two hundred pounds.

But her feet remained frozen.

She knew where he was…so she could send it to him. She didn't have to go in there and deal with six foot men with scary as all hell expressions and violent tendencies.

Turning to go, Lucy did her best to stay quiet but a loud creaking sounded above her.

Before she could even register what was happening, a pain shot through her skull just above her right eye before everything went black.

She hadn't even had time to scream.

…

"Who is she?"

"Where'd she come from? We weren't expecting anyone to drop by today."

"What's in the bag?"

"Maybe she's from Sabertooth, trying to steal our designs for that upcoming weapons pitch—"

"Does she _look_ like she'd do that?"

"Who knows? I mean, it's often the ones you wouldn't expect that—"

A loud clang echoed and silenced the voices.

"This is your fault, Gajeel," a female voice sounded, extremely disapproving, "if you hadn't rushed fixing the letters, one wouldn't have come loose and knocked this poor girl in the head. You're lucky that Porlyusica was already here for Natsu."

Damn her head hurt.

Lucy pried her eyes open, squinting at the assaulting light as she tried to sit up. There was a lot of rustling as hands came down to help, but she flinched away from the contact.

Leaning forward, elbows braced on knees, the blonde let her head hang as she exhaled in a long gust. She tenderly prodded the bone just above her right eyebrow and hissed, fingertips running along the medical tape and bandage.

"What the hell happened?" she muttered, looking up.

A tall, beautiful red head stood before her, arms crossed in front of her chest and a worried expression on her face. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail that fell over her shoulder as she leaned forward, offering a hand.

"Sorry about the sign, are you okay to get up?"

Lucy scrutinized the fingers and palm that was extended before grasping it firmly. Her hands were surprisingly soft save the callouses on the tips as she stumbled to her feet and wavered.

Looking around, Lucy focused on the now low hanging sheet of metal that she recognized as having been the "L" in their sign.

Oh. So that's what happened.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Sit her back down."

An older woman with long, pale pink hair stepped in front of Lucy, guiding her back down to a chair. Her gaze was hard and the blonde could tell she wasn't happy to be here, and for some reason she found that comforting.

"I'm Porlyusica," she introduced herself, immediately getting into Lucy's personal space and prying open her eyelids with a flashlight, "and the less you move the quicker this is over."

There was an odd feeling of ease that overcame Lucy as this woman performed a familiar medical checkup. She answered the normal questions, easily gave the proper answers, and before she knew it the woman was gone.

"Just don't sleep until late tonight, and even then set alarms so you wake up every two hours. Can't be too careful."

Just before she disappeared out the double doors, Lucy yelled, "Thank you!"

The healer just grunted before leaving.

"I'm Erza," the redhead smiled before sitting down and picking up a piece of half-eaten cake. "I'm so sorry about this. Leave these boys alone for one minute and everything goes to hell."

"Hey!" the man she now recognized as the runner stood to protest but was quickly shot back down by Erza.

Literally.

Face flat on the floor, Lucy had to suppress a giggle as she watched him rub his head.

"Natsu, what have I said about being defensive?"

She couldn't make out his response, but apparently it was good enough for Erza because she leaned back in her chair, satisfied, before taking a bite of strawberry cake.

"So, why are you here?" the pink-haired man, Natsu, craned his neck to look up at her with dark eyes. Lucy blinked before looking around for her bag.

A gloved hand shoved it in her face and she looked up at Gajeel. He had a hard expression on her face, but beneath that she could sense guilt.

"Here," he grunted.

Lucy had to lean back in her chair to get a look at the raven-haired Metalhead, as Natsu had called him. He looked reluctant and no doubt he was stubborn.

"Thanks…" she said softly, fingers wrapping around the strap of her bag tightly. In an unfamiliar place even just a hold on her bag made her feel a bit better.

Lucy caught the death glare Erza sent him and the jerk of Gajeel's shoulders as he straightened up and reluctantly glanced down at her, "Sorry about the sign."

Erza smirked and nodded, returning to eating her cake.

Lucy shrugged, "Shit happens, right?"

The red of Gajeel's eyes brightened as an amused smirk played at the corner of his lips.

"Oh, I like this one. Shrimp'd get a kick outta her."

Lucy's brow furrowed as he walked away with a slight wave.

Shaking her head, the blonde dug into her purse, fingers closing around the scarf that sat there. It had been with her long enough she wasn't quite sure how to explain herself. It wasn't like she'd meant to keep it, she assumed she would've seen him the next day but it just didn't happen.

Swallowing, Lucy pulled out the scarf, careful to keep it folded and nearly shoved it in Natsu's face.

At the sudden presence of an object in his face, the pinket at first jerked back before looking to Lucy, brow furrowed. It was only after his gaze returned to the scarf that it dawned on him just what it was.

His eyes widened, fingers coming up to circle around the scaley fabric. Lucy lessened her own hold until she felt him take it from her, now staring down at his lap. Erza could only watch as for once the boisterous pyro she'd come to love like a little brother fell silent. She couldn't remember the last time that'd happened.

Calloused thumbs, smudged with oil and metal dust, feathered over each individual scale with care equal to that of touching a newly hatched Monarch's wing. Lucy could feel the relief and thoughtful elation rolling off the young man in waves, and it only made her wonder who Igneel was.

Before she could open her mouth to even think about asking, however, she found herself pulled to a firm surface.

Eyes wide, it took her a moment to realize that this man—who was essentially a stranger—was hugging her with all he had. She could feel the heat radiating from his skin, a warmth that ran deeper than the surface of having worked in a blacksmith shop for…however long he'd worked there. There was a layer of sweat on him that she could feel with where her upper bare chest was pressed against his, and the tangy scent of metal assaulted her nose.

He'd hugged her. Without asking. With no warning. He'd entered her personal space bubble that she'd so carefully constructed since her break-up and sessions with Erik. He'd crossed everything she'd built since the day that had started this whole change in her life…

And for some reason she couldn't see, her hands came up of their own accord to grip his shoulders and accept the physical contact.

He was so warm.

She felt his arms fall lower on her back before tightening, and she could only smile as his chest rumbled against her skin.

"Thank you."

With those words, Lucy couldn't control the grin that broke out over her face. Her muscles moved of their own accord and she felt her heart swell.

She hooked her chin over his shoulder, relaxing into the embrace and focusing on the man's breaths. Whatever it was with the scarf, it seemed to mean the world to him and she was glad she got to see him get it back. It was worth it.

Her head throbbed.

She pulled away, pressing her fingers to the dressed wound. She could swear there was some tugging at the edges that she could feel.

"Do I have stitches?" her face scrunched up at the thought. She'd been trying to grow her bangs out and didn't necessarily feel like having to cover it up with make-up every damn time she wanted to tie her hair back.

Natsu threw her a pained smile, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah…a few."

Lucy's stomach dropped.

His eyes widened in panic and he brought his hands up, waving them in front of his face frantically. "No, no, no! It's okay! You don't have to worry! Porlyusica is the best, she never leaves a scar!"

Lucy sighed in relief before biting her lip and looking away sheepishly. "I guess that's kind of vain of me…huh?"

Natsu shook his head before tilting it to one side, baring the skin of his neck to her. Lucy blinked at the warped flesh that was discoloured from the rest of the side of his throat. Cocking her head to one side, her heart ached at the thought of what could've done that to him. It was also pretty faded—though still a little pudgy—but that didn't stop her from knowing that it must've been deep.

"I got this when I was around fifteen," he told her, scratching at the scar, face contorted in a grimace. "Wasn't the greatest time I had here. Was awhile before I stopped hiding it."

Lucy blinked. He'd been working here since he was fifteen?

He smiled fondly, remembering something before looking back up to her.

"Gray," he jerked his thumb back to the man with the blue tattoo on his chest, "and I were fighting—"

"And like usual, the idiots weren't paying attention to what the hell they were doing."

Lucy looked back up to Erza. She'd forgotten about the redheaded beauty—who had most likely gotten up at some point since she now had a fresh piece of cake on her plate and a different fork.

"Yeah, we got too close to Gajeel when he was working on something."

Lucy's gaze snapped up to Gray as he wandered over, leaning against a nearby pillar, arms crossed. A cigarette hung loosely from his lips as he brought a hand up to take a drag before flicking the ash off. "Whatever it was he was working on exploded. Piece of shrapnel went flying, scared the shit out of all of us. We thought he was gunna bleed out."

"So of course," Erza rolled her eyes and shook her head, "what does the _pyro_ tell us to do?"

Natsu flushed, bowing his head to the point Lucy thought he'd curl into a ball and roll away.

"Cauterize it," Gray sighed, taking another puff.

"Which we had to do," Erza said, taking another bite. "Better to burn and hurt a bit than to die of bloodloss."

Lucy stared at the man in front of her, heart aching with worry. She knew it was stupid since he was obviously alive and fine, but how much she cared surprised her.

Standing from her chair, Lucy looked to the setting sun. She needed to get home soon if she was going to end up eating at a decent time and these guys most likely had to close up shop soon.

"I…uh…I should probably go. It's getting late."

Once again, Erza offered Lucy a hand and the blonde took it, smiling this time instead of being cautious. There was just something about this place that made her feel at home, something she hadn't experienced in a long time.

"Thanks for bringing the scarf back…uh…" the redhead blushed, looking away briefly.

It was then she realized she hadn't introduced herself at all.

"Lucy! I'm Lucy!" she offered, not wanting to see Erza embarrassed.

"Lucy," she repeated, smiling softly, "pleasure to meet you. Come by again, I'm sure Levy would love you, like Gajeel said."

The blonde's chest warmed and she spun at the sound of Gray's voice, "She totally would. And for me? Anyone who can get flamebrain to shut up for more than five seconds is welcome back anytime." He grinned wide, winking slightly.

Lucy laughed, making her way toward her car, "Thanks so much, I'm so sorry about this." She looked to the detached letter guiltily, not wanting to have caused any trouble.

"Don't be sorry, this was all Gajeel," Natsu smirked, following close to her. The back of his hand brushed against hers and Lucy hid a blush. After the hug her stomach flipped—it was a little weird for her to have been so close in such an…intimate moment and now be walking side by side alone again.

"Let me take you out to dinner to apologize for him."

Lucy raised a brow, an amused half grin turning the right side of her mouth up as she let out a laugh. "As an apology from Gajeel, _you_ want to take me out for dinner?"

Natsu leaned against the driver's door, blocking her access with a smirk. "Yes. I believe that's what I asked."

Lucy let out a laugh. A bright contented laugh, one she felt at her core that she hadn't experienced in years. She felt lighter. Happy.

With a smile, she inched closer, inwardly relishing in the shy panicked expression that flashed in Natsu's eyes as he backed up from her, away from the door. The confidence she felt in that moment was momentary and she didn't want to lose her nerve.

"Well, I guess it wouldn't be fair to _Gajeel_ to say no, now would it?"

She watched as his cheeks flushed and he did his best to keep his cool, clearing his throat and looking away. "No…no it wouldn't."

Lucy rummaged around in her purse. She couldn't believe she was doing this. The most cliché thing in the book of clichés.

Finding a Sharpie, she pulled the cap off with her teeth before grabbing the pinket's arm and pulling it across his chest. Since he worked with his hands, the best place for her to put her number would probably be his tricep.

Plus, she could only imagine how hilarious it would be to see him try and actually jot the number down. Backward numbers in a mirror, or if he asked his friends they could fuck with him and give him the wrong one.

She wrote them large and legibly though, she could make his life slightly difficult but not too much. She wasn't _that_ evil.

Only a little.

She replaced the lid before taking the marker between two fingers, wiggling it absently, "Don't go losing that scarf again, eh? Who knows who'll pick it up the next time it's riding that low on your hips."

Climbing in the car, Lucy threw it into reverse and drove away, half laughing at the gobsmacked expression that lingered on Natsu's face at that moment.

The other half was screaming internally as she tried not to die of embarrassment.

* * *

 _Let me know what you guys think!_

 _-xb_


	2. Weld

_**A/N:** Alright guys...here's part 2. So much longer than I originally thought it would be. Fuck. _

_**Fandom:** Fairy Tail_

 _ **Pairing:** NaLu_

 _ **Rating:** T - adult themes_

 _ **Summary:** Still recovering from a bad relationship, Lucy struggles with returning a white scaled scarf to its owner—the pink-haired man always running around her apartment complex. A man who seems like he might be just what she needs to heal. Modern AU. NaLu. TwoShot._

* * *

 _ **weld**  
_ /weld/

 _verb  
_

1\. To join two piece of metal by heating  
them and pressing them together.

2\. Cause to combine and form a  
harmonious or effective whole.

* * *

If someone had told him a few months ago, that running around his apartment complex would result in him meeting the enigma that was Lucy, he wouldn't have believed them.

She was witty, and funny, and smart, and gorgeous. Everything Natsu never thought could exist all within a single person. Well...it could technically...but rarely ever was that person a nice person.

But Lucy...she _was_.

She sometimes pretended she wasn't. She'd shut down on him or a few of them at the shop, sometimes ignoring them or other times making a snide remark or two. But Natsu knew it wasn't because she was mean.

He noticed things about her.

How if Erza were to speak when she wasn't expecting it, she would turn and smile, directing her focus to the conversation. But if it was Gray or Gajeel, or sometimes even him...she would flinch.

It was subtle. You'd have to look for it. But the slight jerking of the shoulders and flash of fear over her features was unmistakable. It was when that look was in her eyes—when someone would get in her personal space—that she would snap at one of them or make a remark. Again, it was so subtle nobody really noticed it.

But he did.

There was a crippling anxiety she had when it came to the unknown, whether it be a new person or a new situation. When he'd taken her out for dinner, her eyes had darted away from his to her lap more times than he could count, and her hood seemed to be permanently pulled down, hiding her forehead and casting her eyes in shadow.

Despite what he'd thought was a rocky first date, she'd swing by the shop a few times a week and they'd even gone out a few more times since. He did his best to respect her by keeping a safe distance and letting her come to him. Once in awhile her fingers would search for his, tugging lightly at the tips before she let her hand fall back to her side. Those few brief moments of contact, and the bright smile that would often follow the jokes he told her…

Natsu didn't care if he never got the chance to hug her again as long as he could see that light in her eyes.

She'd never said anything, but he knew something had happened to her. Maybe at the hands of a family member, or maybe an ex boyfriend or sibling...he had no idea. But there was something that caused her to shy away.

He never blamed her for it. There was nothing to blame her for. It was her business.

So when she weaved her fingers through his one day on their way to a movie, Natsu was so surprised he nearly ripped his hand out of hers.

Lucy giggled at the action, covering her mouth as Natsu settled down, "Oh what? Did I electrocute you or something?"

The welder shook his head, "No. Just...wasn't expectin' that."

The blonde cocked her head to one side, brow furrowed, "Why not?"

He shrugged, looking down at his feet as his heels scuffed the sidewalk. He was wearing through the soles of his sandals and would need to get new ones soon. Shuffling around was a lazy habit of his and was easier than walking properly, sure...but it was drilling a hole into his wallet.

"Cause we haven't really touched at all in these past few months."

Natsu heard and felt rather than saw Lucy stop. Confused as to why, he turned around, trying to meet her downcast gaze.

"I...I'm sorry, Natsu...I just—"

"No."

Lucy's head snapped up.

"Don't apologize, Lucy," he said softly, a small smile crossing his face, "never apologize to me for something like this."

"But...it's my fault—"

He shook his head, silencing her again, "This isn't your fault. Do you really think I only spend time with you 'cause you're beautiful?"

Lucy's eyes narrowed, "You calling me ugly, Natsu? Better watch yourself."

The pinket laughed, "Lucy Heartfilia, you are the exact opposite of ugly."

She blushed.

"No," he continued, "I'm saying I spend time with you 'cause I like you. The fact you're gorgeous is just a plus, and I want you to be _comfortable_ with me above anything else. If that means keeping my distance until you are, then I'm okay with that."

Big, beautiful brown eyes stared at him, unblinking for a few moments before her fingers tightened their hold on his hand.

"I have somewhere to go tomorrow. Will you come with me?"

It seemed like a random question under the circumstances, but with how firmly her jaw was set, Natsu knew this wasn't a spur of the moment thing.

He squeezed her hand in response.

"Where am I going?"

…..

She'd given him an address with no explanation. Though he was curious, he knew better than to pry, she'd either tell him later or he'd have to find out when he got there.

Didn't change the fact that he was anxious as all hell.

Not because of Lucy, no. He was anxious because whatever it was she was inviting him to was a big deal to her and he had a bad habit of fucking things up when they were important.

The building itself that he pulled up to didn't give anything away. There were doctors, psychiatrists, chiropractors, all with their plaques and room numbers on the wall.

Natsu opted to ignore those and instead follow the instructions Lucy had sent him the morning before. _Seventh floor. Seventh room._

Odd.

He smiled as he rounded the corner, spotting her leaning against the wall by what he assumed was the door to where they were going. He took in the way she was biting her lip, using her thumb to push the skin further in. The snicker that escaped him caught her attention and she lit up as he strode down the hall toward her.

"Hey," she breathed, a look of slight disbelief on her face, "you're here."

Natsu cocked his head to one side, "I said I would be, and this is important to you, right?"

She nodded, suddenly shy again, "It is."

He held his hand out to her, fingers outstretched in view of her downcast gaze. A faint smile pulled at the corners of her mouth as she gently took his hand, leading him into an empty waiting room.

A young woman with short purple hair sat at the desk, typing away on the computer. At noticing Lucy's presence, she removed the headphones from her ears and smiled.

"Lucy!" the receptionist brightened. "Good to see you! How are you?"

The blonde straightened up as she returned the opposite woman's smile, "I'm good, Kinana. What about you? Keeping him out of trouble?"

Kinana rolled her eyes, "Trying my best."

Lucy reached over the desk to clasp the violet-haired woman's hand and give it an encouraging squeeze. She sighed in response before waving the blonde away.

"He's waiting for you, go on in."

Natsu swallowed as Lucy pulled him toward a closed door. She raised her knuckles to knock, but before she could a voice called, "Come in!"

The pinket blinked.

"He has really good hearing," Lucy explained, turning the knob and swinging the door open.

Sitting in a large lounge chair with a clipboard was another figure with dark purple—almost brown—hair and an unmistakable scar pulling at the skin of his right eye, lid permanently sewn shut.

"Cobra?"

Erik snapped his head up, meeting Natsu's gaze as a sly grin spread over his features. A hard laugh greeted the pinket's ears as the two met in the middle of the room, clasping palms and thumbs together in a familiar handshake.

"Salamander!" Erik pulled him in, bumping one side of his chest against Natsu's. "Haven't seen you in ages man, how've ya been?"

Natsu let his hand fall, "Been doin' great!"

"Still kicking the crap out of Black Steel?" he asked before going back to his seat.

"You know it!" Natsu snickered at the image of the last time he'd managed to pummel the annoying Metalhead freak.

"You two know each other…"

The two men redirected their focus to the young blonde who was currently half-hiding behind Natsu, fingers seeking to re-weave through his after having been dropped.

"Yeah," Natsu squeezed Lucy's hand as they took a seat. The blonde was obviously a little unsettled by this fact.

"Lucy…if you don't want to do…whatever it is you're wanting to anymore because we know each other, that's okay. You know that, right?" He rubbed his thumb along the ridges of her knuckles reassuringly.

"Do you know why she brought you here today, Natsu?" Erik asked, and the man looked up from the blonde at his side.

"No, she hasn't told me anything. I just know it's important to her is all."

Erik looked to Lucy, "Do I have your permission to speak about what we've agreed on?"

She nodded, her grip on Natsu's hand tightening.

He just squeezed back.

"I'm her psychiatrist," Erik adopted a professional tone, all familiarity and friendship now gone. "And she's come to me more than once to talk about bringing you here."

"Why?" Natsu asked.

"Because there are some things that have happened that she feels you have a right to know, and she feels the easiest way to approach the situation would be with my help, here." Erik crossed an ankle over his bent knee, resting his notepad on his lap and readying his pen.

"Okay…" Natsu trailed off, stomach churning.

"It may not be easy to hear."

Natsu looked down at the amazing woman next to him. She trusted him enough to bring him here, and wanted him to know this. She definitely hadn't made this decision lightly, and needed him to know this. He wanted to know, even if it was painful.

Steadying his gaze and setting his jaw, Natsu locked his eyes with Erik's.

"Tell me everything she wants me to know."

…..

Natsu had never wanted to be more wrong in his life.

With everything he'd noticed about Lucy, he'd hoped it was all a misunderstanding and maybe by some miracle she was acting this way because of some sort of OCD thing or whatever.

It was a stretch, but anything was better than _this_.

She'd been abused by her fucking sorry-ass excuse for a life, piece of shit ex-boyfriend. He'd made her afraid of contact. He'd made her avoid people. He'd made her feel like she needed to cover up in order to feel safe when going outside.

He'd forced her against her will...physically. Manipulated her into feeling and thinking a certain way. Into thinking she wanted something she didn't again and again and making her feel like she would never be enough for anyone else to keep her.

He made her feel like nobody else could ever love her.

Natsu was speechless as he stood from his seat in Erik's office. He had no idea what to say, or how to respond. His immediate thought of course was to go track down this guy and beat the fucking shit out of him…

But that wouldn't solve anything and wasn't what she needed right now.

Making his way toward the door, he looked down as Lucy's fingers slipped out of his grasp. She stared at him with anxious eyes, bringing a hand up to cradle his cheek.

"I'll be out in a sec, okay?"

He nodded, leaning into her hand before walking out into the waiting room.

It hadn't taken long—after she'd walked into the shop that day—for her to become his best friend. He saw how other people looked at her. Women would glare the few times she showed her face, wanting the beauty she had. Men would get a lustful glint in their eyes as she walked, even when she covered up.

But to him…she was just Lucy.

She was the person who would make him lunch and bring it to him at the shop. She was the person who would laugh at how he pouted when she tried to get him to stay still so she could wipe the dark marks from his face when he got dirty. She was the person who he went to after work when he burned himself with his soldering iron, because she was the gentlest and wouldn't make fun of him.

Didn't stop her from hitting him over the head though whenever he'd say something stupid.

She was the person he wanted to spend time with at the end of the day. She was the person he actually picked up his phone to call or text. She was his best friend and he could tell her anything if he wanted to.

She was amazing…

He was so lost in thought it took two hands gripping his shoulders to snap him out of it.

Warm, caramel brown filled his vision as he was pulled up to his feet. He barely heard Lucy say goodbye to the receptionist before they continued down the hall to the elevator. Neither of them said a word until they got back to Natsu's car.

"Natsu?"

He looked to her.

She was looking down at her hands, running one thumbnail under the other absently, avoiding his eyes.

"You know…with you…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

Natsu just waited.

"What scares me…is how comfortable I am with you," she crossed her arms in front of her chest, curling into herself. A few locks of blonde fell in her eyes. "It's terrifying."

He took a step toward her, reaching to brush away the hair, but thinking better of it and letting his hand fall. They weren't there yet, they still needed to talk more.

"Why?" he asked softly.

She met his gaze, "Because I hate being vulnerable, and Natsu…you make me feel vulnerable because…because I…" Her eyes glazed over, tears falling as she closed her eyes.

"Lucy?"

She looked back up to him.

"Can I hug you?"

Her lip quivered as she nodded, reaching for him and nearly falling into his warm chest. He brought his arms around her, one across her shoulders with a hand in her hair, and the other just above the curve of her hip. He rested his cheek atop her head as she cried into his neck, only holding her tighter the more her body moved.

"Y'know, Luce," he said softly, once she'd quieted some, "you make me feel vulnerable too."

She sniffed, looking up at him with tear-streaked face. He brought both of his hands up to cradle her cheeks and wipe away the stains with his thumbs gently. Her fingers came up to close around his wrists as she leaned into his palm, closing her eyes with a soft smile.

"Why would I make you feel vulnerable?" her voice cracked and she cleared her throat.

"Because it's been a long time since there was anyone who'd be able hurt me as much as you now could."

Lucy peered up at him through wet lashes, "I'm not going to hurt you, Natsu."

He drew her into his chest again.

"And I'm not going to hurt you."

…..

He drove her back to her place, which turned out to be only a few units down from his own. They'd always go over to his house, so when she invited him in for dinner he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do, and when he voiced his concern Lucy only smiled before dragging him inside.

It was a beautiful apartment. Since they were in a joined building with multiple units it had the same layout as his, but how she'd decorated hers was cozy. Safe.

Blankets, couches, pillows, books, pens, pencils. The smell of paper and ink was all over the apartment and though Natsu wasn't one to be found reading, that didn't mean he didn't love that kind of atmosphere.

He found himself wandering to her window where a few books lay, a clear view of the park and front of the complex through the glass.

Natsu smirked, turning to her, "So, you watched me from here, huh?"

Lucy spun around from her spot in the kitchen to face him. Her eyes widened when she saw where he was and he swore she turned the same colour as his hair.

"N-no! I just read there...and you would run by...and—"

Natsu laughed, heading over to her in the kitchen. He took a seat on a stool at the counter, watching as she darted around, trying to explain herself while avoiding his gaze.

"I'm kidding, Luce," he smiled. Her flustered was something he couldn't get enough of, especially when she was bold enough to flirt with him.

He watched as she pulled ingredients from her cupboard and fridge and set them on the counter. Various vegetables and meats and spices littered the counter as she started working. Natsu stood from his spot and rounded the counter into the kitchen, making enough noise for her to know he was coming up beside her.

"What're you makin'?" he asked, looking over her shoulder. She was cutting chunks of beef into cubes.

"Curry." She smiled up at him before focusing on the task in front of her again.

"What can I do to help?"

She raised an eyebrow at his question, looking over his face before jutting her chin out at the three large sweet onions on the counter.

"You can cut those."

Natsu cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders back before pulling a pack of matches out of his pocket. After detaching one from the book he stuck it in his mouth, then grabbed a large knife from the large wooden block on the counter. He could feel Lucy's eyes on him as he sliced off the ends, cut the onions in half, and chopped them all up in the span of five minutes.

He heard the blonde sniff, eyes watering. "Damn, even when I'm not the one doing it it still hurts."

Natsu snickered, walking over to the stove and scraping the onion from the board into the pressure cooker.

With the two of them working together, dinner was done within the hour and cleaned up soon after. With the sun low, and a single lamp lighting the room, Natsu sprawled out on the couch, one hand on his very full stomach as he groaned.

"So good."

Lucy laughed as she plopped down at the opposite end, stretching her legs down the length of the couch, to the side of Natsu's torso. He watched her toes spread as she stretched and relaxed down into the cushions.

"I love curry," she mumbled, closing her eyes.

"Well, with the way _you_ make it I'd eat it every day if I could." Natsu absently sought out her feet, kneading at the soles with his thumbs and knuckles. Small groans sounded from Lucy's side of the couch as she relaxed, arms stretched above her head and hanging over the side.

It was after a few minutes they both started to doze off.

Natsu pried an eye open groggily at the couch shifting, faintly registering a body crawling over to him. He let out a grunt at an elbow in his gut and heard a soft 'sorry' before a weight pressed down on his chest.

"Luce?"

The blonde had wedged her arm down the side of the couch, the other thrown over his lower torso as she found a comfortable spot for her head in the crook of his neck.

"'s cold in here," she mumbled, "yer warm."

Natsu only smiled as he bent one arm behind his head for a makeshift pillow and wrapped the other securely around her so she wouldn't fall off the couch if she rolled over in her sleep. Her breaths evened out, long and deep and he could've sworn she was asleep when she spoke again.

"Natsu?"

"Hm?" he grunted, eyes still closed. The weight of her on him was comforting and he found it easier to relax.

"How did you know there was something I wasn't telling you?" she asked, turning her head to the side to make her voice more audible.

He cracked an eye open to look down at her, "Whadoya mean?"

"Without even asking, you knew I had an issue with touch. Most people would've just said it was 'cause I'm a weirdo."

Natsu grinned devilishly, "But you _are_ a weird— _ohoof_!"

Yeah, he deserved that.

She wrapped her arm back around him, elbow safely away from his gut as he took a deep breath. The air had suddenly gotten serious again when he felt Lucy's chest rumble.

"How?" she pressed.

Natsu went quiet.

He could tell her. He could tell her why he started noticing things because he was similar in the past. He could tell her about the worst night of his life, and how he'd just barely managed to survive. He could tell her about how he knew Cobra and Gajeel, and he would.

Just not tonight.

"'cause've somethin' that happened to me when I was younger," he said, jaw now stiff.

"What was it?" she asked, looking up at him.

Natsu shook his head, brushing the hair from her face.

"Today is about you," he said lowly, yawning. "I'll tell you another time, okay?"

She grumbled a bit before snuggling into him like a pillow and letting out a long sigh with a nod.

"Okay," she muttered.

…..

"She told you, didn't she?"

Natsu lifted up his mask to look at Gajeel. The man was hunched over a large slab of metal, in the middle of forging a large, iron, serrated blade. He'd paused from wailing on it to turn to him and voice his question.

"Who told me what?" his brow furrowed.

"Blondie," Gajeel grunted, setting down his hammer and taking a seat. "She told you about it didn't she?"

"What makes you say that?" Natsu asked, smirking.

"'cuz she's more comfortable with you now. More touchy." Gajeel crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Which means you now know why she acts the way she does."

"What makes you think there's something she isn't telling me?" The pinket narrowed his eyes, tone slightly defensive.

Gajeel just looked at him with a straight face. Natsu knew that look.

 _You really gunna ask me that, dumbass? Same reason_ you _knew._

Natsu set down his blowtorch and flopped down into the chair, rubbing his face with his hands, "Yeah. She told me."

"The reason isn't my business," Gajeel smoothed a few locks of his that had escaped his headband back under the fabric, "but, she okay?"

The pinket nodded, leaning against the nearby table, "She's doing alright, finds it easier now that I know. So she's more relaxed."

Gajeel nodded, about to return to work when Natsu spoke up again.

"I ran into Cobra."

Natsu wasn't going to tell Gajeel about him being her psychiatrist since that wasn't his story to tell, but it sure as hell wasn't a coincidence that the brother they'd both grown up with was connected to this new person in their lives. There was something here. Natsu didn't like the word _fate_ because he preferred to make his own decisions...but he'd be an idiot not to take notice of certain signs.

And Lucy having asked him about how he knew about her problem right after seeing Cobra again…

"How is he?" Gajeel asked, picking up his hammer again. The iron had now cooled and he'd need to heat it up again, so he stuck the large rod back in the burning coals.

"He's good. Managed to make something of himself. Working as a shrink now."

Gajeel laughed, "The guy who can hear everything making use of his talent for once."

"Yeah," Natsu smirked, "I thought it was ironic too."

The welder rested his forehead in his hands, elbows on the table in front of him. He had to tell Lucy, but he didn't know if he was ready. He never wanted to go back there again...but then again neither had she and she deserved to know about him.

"She knows that something happened to me when I was young," his voice was monotone as he looked over to Gajeel.

The raven-haired forger stiffened, "You gunna tell her?"

"Yeah. I just need to know you're alright with it."

Despite how the two of them bickered and beat each other up, there were things they'd been through that kept them closer than others could possibly imagine. You can meet someone, care for them, and share everything with them and feel comfortable and close with them...but there are certain things that bind you with others for life when you live through it together.

"I like her," he grunted, "go ahead."

"Thanks, Gajeel."

He gave one last hard look to Natsu as the pinket stood, "Don't fuck it up with Blondie."

Natsu set his jaw, "I won't."

…..

 _He couldn't see a thing._

 _Arms and legs restricted his body, holding him tight so he couldn't move. The house was eerily silent, and all Natsu could hear was Gajeel's breathing right next to his ear. He knew why his foster brother was keeping him still, but a part of him wanted to bite the hand that was covering his mouth and dash down the hall to save Cobra._

 _A loud crash echoed through the halls of their house and Natsu screamed into Gajeel's palm, trying to pull free of his grip. The black-haired boy just tightened his hold around him, so much so he found it hard to breathe._

 _"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!"_

 _Natsu heard Cobra cry out in a high pitched scream before the sound of another crash. This wasn't fair. This was his fault. He was back and he was here for_ him _. If he'd never been sent to this house, then Gajeel and Erik wouldn't be in this situation right now and—_

 _Another yell that shook Natsu to his very core._

 _He opened his mouth wide and sunk his sharp teeth into Gajeel's hand. He heard him swear to himself and he reflexively tore his arm away._

 _It wasn't much slack, but it was enough._

 _Natsu lunged for the doors to the closet, nearly ripping them off their hinges as he tried to pull himself up and away from the other boy. He got halfway to his feet before Gajeel gripped the back of his shirt, yanking him back down to the floor._

 _"Shut_ up _you_ fucking _idiot," he snarled, lowly. "Do you_ want _him to kill you?"_

 _"He won't kill me," Natsu's voice wavered, not believing the words he was saying but doing his best to sound like he did._

 _"He's fucked out of his mind, flamebrain," Gajeel spoke in a hushed whisper, "he doesn't know what he's doing. If you go out there he_ will _kill you."_

 _"So we just stay in here and let him kill Cobra?!'_

 _A few streams of light from the moon made their way through the cracks of the closet doors, turning Gajeel's normally red eyes silver. He could see the pained expression in them as his gaze hardened._

 _"Cobra's got this. He can take care of himself. You on the other hand…"_

 _Natsu nearly punched him in the face._

 _"We're the same age, don't treat me like a kid."_

 _Another crash sounded through the house and the pinket's head snapped in the direction, muscles tensed._

 _"Natsu…" Gajeel shook the other boy's shoulders, getting his attention back, "we_ are _kids. What the_ hell _can we do...huh?!"_

 _The younger—by a_ month— _boy wracked his brain for something...anything._

 _His eyes widened._

 _He opened his mouth to answer when a loud creak sounded from above them._

 _On pure instinct, Natsu grabbed Gajeel's hand and yanked him out of the closet just as the shelves and poles came crashing down._

 _"What was that?"_

 _They both froze._

 _Gajeel grabbed Natsu's wrist and nearly dragged him under the bed as heavy footfalls made their way down the hall. The two could hear muffled voices shouting and a loud thud against the wall before the door to their room was kicked open._

 _They both covered their mouths to silence their breathing._

 _Footsteps crept around the bed back toward the closet. The floorboards creaked under the weight of the man as he rounded the bed._

 _Natsu's heart thudded in his chest and he tried his best not to move, praying he'd just go away and leave them all alone._

 _The legs of the bed scraped the floor as it was kicked over, metal frame leaving holes in the drywall._

 _"Found you," the man slurred._

 _Rugged, drunk, and covered in blood, Natsu's stomach churned at the sight of the man with hair the same colour as him._

 _"Little brat," he leaned down and pulled Natsu up by his hair, "c'mon. Let's go."_

 _Natsu's blood ran cold. He couldn't move._

 _He didn't want to go back. He…he couldn't go back. No._

 _He suddenly found his head smashed into the floor, stars exploding in his vision._

 _What the…_

 _He watched as Gajeel attacked his father, blocking the broken bottle he was holding with his arms before landing punch after punch. He must've still had a hold on his hair when Gajeel tackled him, so they all went down._

 _Natsu felt something warm spatter on his face and brought his fingers to his cheek._

 _Blood._

 _There wasn't much time for the thought to register before Gajeel was sent flying across the room. Knocked down, the black-haired boy braced himself with his hands, trying to get back up. Slashes this way and that decorated his forearms. Deep ones._

 _Natsu rolled onto his stomach and went to crawl toward Gajeel, but his father was back on his feet and heading for him again._

 _Head swimming, Natsu looked around for the bedside table. If he could just get to it then he could protect them all. He could end this._

 _But it was out of reach, and his father was looming over him again now._

 _Natsu's fist clenched, ready to fight back when once again his father was tackled._

 _Cobra._

 _Natsu didn't miss the warped skin of his older foster brother's eye as he clenched it shut, letting loose punch after punch. Blood trailed down his cheeks from his eye and the smaller cuts that surrounded it._

 _"Don't. You. Touch. Him!"_

 _He watched as Cobra managed to keep the upper hand, and took the opportunity to scramble toward the small dresser. Yanking the drawer open, Natsu pulled out the heavy piece of metal._

 _A gun._

 _Natsu had no idea how to use a gun…but he sure as hell would have to figure it out._

 _Holding it in both of his hands, he pointed it at his father who had managed to throw Cobra to join Gajeel across the room._

 _"Don't ya point that at me," he snarled, staggering to his feet. "I'm yer father."_

 _Natsu shook his head, closed his eyes and pulled the trigger._

 _It was jammed._

 _"Crap," he whispered, looking at the gun. Why wasn't it firing? What was going on? Wha—_

 _"Fuckin' idiot," his father laughed, "the safety's on."_

 _Natsu's stomach sank as his father grabbed the gun from him and pointed it at his brothers._

 _"Now you come with me, or they won't be throwin' any more punches. Ever."_

 _Natsu stood from his spot on the floor and walked over to the older man, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. The scars on his back started to itch as he focused on his father's belt._

Please, no. Not again. Not after Zeref.

 _Natsu bowed his head as he came to stand in front of the taller pinket. If he was going to go back, there was no way he was going to let him have the satisfaction of seeing him cry._

 _"NATSU!"_

 _The boy's head snapped up at the sound of his foster father's sudden presence, and all he saw was a flash of red as once_ again _the drunk was tackled._

 _"Get him out of here Cobra!"_

 _Erik reached for his little brother, but froze when two gunshots rang out._

 _Both men lay on the ground, a dark liquid pooling beneath them. Natsu watched as Igneel fell to the floor on his back, blood seeping into his shirt from his chest and stomach, eyes wide._

 _"IGNEEL!"_

 _Natsu broke away from Cobra, falling to his dad's side, pressing his hands to his chest. That's what you were supposed to do with gunshots, right? Apply pressure?_

 _Igneel coughed. Blood coated his teeth and trickled from the corner of his mouth. The gurgling in his throat made Natsu nauseous but he couldn't leave._

 _"Natsu," he croaked, "get out of here. It's not safe."_

 _"No, dad...I won't leave you!"_

 _Igneel once again looked to Cobra, "Get them out of here."_

 _As Cobra was walking over, Igneel pulled something from the inside of his jacket. It was wrapped in tissue paper that was now torn and some of it was stained red._

 _"Don't worry," he whispered, "the blood will come out. I'm just sorry I didn't get to give it to you sooner."_

 _"Dad…" Tears streamed down Natsu's cheeks as he cradled the gift to his chest._

 _"DAD!"_

 _Natsu shrieked as Cobra picked him up, threw him over his shoulder, and ran out of the bedroom. Screaming the whole way Natsu flailed his arms and legs, pounding his brother's back and reaching for Igneel._

 _That pink-haired man was his father...he'd helped make him...sure._

 _But he wasn't his dad._

 _His dad was the one who was bleeding out on the floor of the bedroom._

 _It was only when the sound of sirens died down, and the three of them were in an ambulance together that his father's last words reached him._

 _"Happy Birthday...Na...tsu."_

...

He shot up in bed, heart pounding, breath ragged. A scream ripped its way from his chest and he pulled away from what was restricting his movements.

Fucking blankets.

Rolling onto the floor, Natsu backed up from his bed, eyes wildly darting around before it registered just where he was.

He was in his house. Sleeping.

He wasn't in that foster home.

Chest heaving, Natsu's head fell between his bent knees and he pounded a fist over his racing heart. It had been years since he'd had that nightmare. Years since he remembered that night so vividly.

Only this time, a pair of chocolate eyes were there to comfort him.

"Natsu?"

He swallowed before standing up and heading for the door. He needed to cool down.

Flicking the light on in the bathroom, Natsu grabbed a towel and soaked it in cold water before wiping his face, neck, chest and shoulders. The air tickled the water, making him shiver, but it was better than nothing.

"Natsu...what's going on?"

He looked down to the blonde at his side, staring at him, worried. She brought a hand up to his cheek when he looked away, turning him to face her.

It had been months since he'd told her about what had happened to him when he was eleven; about that night when his dad died at the hands of his biological father. About the scars on his back from the belt and the significance of the scarf.

She'd learned why Gajeel's gloves were so important to him too. They'd been given to him by Metalicana, his foster father before Igneel.

Though it wasn't his story to tell what had happened to Gajeel, she could guess.

She'd learned just how Erik's eye had ended up the way it did...he was only sixteen.

"Nightmare," he rasped, shaking his head. "Haven't had one in years."

He felt her move around to his back, wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her lips at the nape of his neck.

"It's okay. You're okay. I'm here."

He weaved his fingers through those of her left hand.

Oh...now he remembered.

Natsu smiled to himself of the memory of his red-headed dad giving him a lecture on how to propose to a girl. It was the last conversation they'd had before he drove off that day, looking for the scarf.

He wasn't going to propose anytime soon. They'd only officially been dating a few months, and they hadn't gone very far. He was respectful of her boundaries and she was the same for him. They were both figuring things out and the most important part of Lucy to him was her friendship. He didn't need the physical stuff.

But when he looked at her, he knew he was going to marry that girl.

Natsu spun around in her arms, resting his cheek atop her head and hugging her to his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes with Lucy rubbing at Natsu's back and shoulders.

"Better?" she asked gently, turning her head to look up at him.

Natsu smiled and Lucy rose onto her toes in response.

She captured his lips softly, kissing the bottom one, and then the top one. This wasn't lust, it was comfort and adoration.

Natsu responded, wrapping one arm around her waist while bring the other up to cup her cheek. She gripped at his hair to pull him closer as he kissed her slowly, lazily, languidly, melding his mouth to hers. She giggled as he nibbled on her lower lip and he felt her roll her hips into his. A laugh rumbled in his chest as they stumbled back against the counter.

"Much better," he whispered against her mouth, before kissing along her jaw to her neck. Pulling away he took her hand in his as they headed back to bed and crawled under the covers.

As Lucy huddled into his side, wrapped around him, Natsu could only feel his heart swell. He'd gotten so lucky with having met her and if it weren't for the scarf Igneel had given him...he may never have in the first place.

Brushing the locks away from her face, Natsu pressed one last kiss to her forehead before falling asleep.

 _Thank you...Dad._

* * *

 _Hope you guys enjoyed! Feel free to drop me a review or message :)_

 _-xb_


	3. Soder - Omake

_**A/N:** I added an omake chapter. Sorry it took so long…writing this AU of mine is rough. Especially this chapter. _

_**Fandom:** Fairy Tail_

 _ **Pairing:** NaLu_

 _ **Rating:** T - adult themes, PTSD from sexual assault_

 _ **Summary:** Still recovering from a bad relationship, Lucy struggles with returning a white scaled scarf to its owner—the pink-haired man always running around her apartment complex. A man who seems like he might be just what she needs to heal. Modern AU. NaLu. TwoShot._

* * *

 ** _solder_**  
/ˈsädər/

 _verb_

 **1.** A metal or metallic alloy used when  
melted to join metallic surfaces.

 **2.** Something that unites.

* * *

The guilt was eating at her.

He was amazing. Kind. Caring. Patient. Conscientious of her reactions to him. Sensitive to her state of mind, and beyond understanding of her boundaries it was almost annoying. But it showed that he cared, and every day she was more comfortable than the last.

But she would get flashes.

When he'd hug her, she'd have a flash of _him_ groping her hips. When he'd kiss her, she'd remember _him_ hovering over her. Sweaty. Rough.

And she hated it.

She hated it, because Natsu was nothing like _him_. She hated how she couldn't seem to keep a wrap on her memories and she hated how it was affecting him. His touch sometimes made her flinch, and she could see how it stung him—even though he knew why she did and he hadn't done anything wrong.

It had been almost two years since they'd split, and those flashes were still there. They wouldn't cause her to panic now like they had in the past, but her heart would race a bit and she'd need to remind herself he was gone.

"Lucy?"

The blonde turned from her spot at the window to Erik.

He was casual today with a slightly open button-down shirt, cuffs rolled up. He'd foregone a tie and his hair was more wayward than usual. It was comforting.

"You haven't said anything yet."

Lucy blinked, looking up at the clock, realizing that she had indeed been staring out the window for twenty minutes, lost in thought. She shook her head and wandered over to the couch, sitting down.

"You haven't been back much since Natsu was here," he regarded her with a soft expression, "are you still okay with talking to me?"

The blonde blinked, "Of _course_! That's not the issue!"

The violet-haired man eyed her curiously, waiting.

Lucy bit her lower lip, bringing up her knees to hug them to her chest. She didn't want to tell him, but knew she had to. She shouldn't be thinking this way. She had an amazing man in her life who was everything she'd ever wanted, yet her head refused to let her forget.

It was a few more moments before she looked back to Erik.

"I get flashes when Natsu and I are together…" she said softly, averting her gaze from his once again, "and it's killing me."

There was a pause before Lucy heard his pen scratching against the paper. "Is he doing anything that—"

"No!" the blonde snapped back to look at Erik and shook her head furiously, "Not at all! That's why I feel so guilty."

Erik cocked his head to one side, "Why guilty?"

Lucy sighed, "Because he's amazing, and I shouldn't be thinking about… _him_. Natsu is nothing like him and I don't know why…" her voice cracked. "I just feel so bad."

She watched as her shrink set down his notepad and pen, and rested his elbows on his knees, leaning towards her. "Lucy, you have nothing to feel guilty about."

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes as she curled more into herself, "But…"

Through the haze of her watery eyes, she could see him smile. "You are perfectly normal. Don't feel guilty about this. These memories are vivid, they're still fresh. It's okay for them to pop up once in awhile. It's normal. Especially with what you've been through."

Her vision cleared as the saltwater cleared from her eyes, warming her cheeks and soaking into where her chin met the fabric of her jeans.

"Lucy…" Erik's voice was soft, "have you talked to Natsu about this?"

She shook her head, "I'm scared to."

"Why?"

"I just…" she trailed off, voice lowering to a near whisper, "…I don't want him to think he's done anything wrong or that I'm thinking of someone else when we…"

A small smile pulled at the corners of Erik's mouth.

"You and I both know he won't think that."

Lucy took a deep breath and let it out slowly, pressing a hand over the pounding thrum in her chest. Logically she knew that. Her heart just decided not to catch up to her head for some stupid reason.

"It's just, Natsu'll hold me…but then it's not him anymore. Suddenly I'm back in _his_ hands, I'm stuck in _his_ room, in that house. In that relationship. I'm back there and I panic even though I know it's over and…" she swallowed thickly.

"Lucy?"

The blonde's eyes darted over to her shrink.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, relaxing back into the cushions of his chair. There was something smug about his body language and Lucy's eyes narrowed.

"Yeeeah…" she drawled, eyebrow raised, "why?"

"Talk to Natsu about this. Tell him."

Lucy's stomach plummeted and churned so quickly she felt like she might puke.

Tell Natsu?

Erik smiled at her fidgeting.

"I know Natsu, Lucy. Trust me."

His eyes were alit with a painfully large smirk, yet held a knowing behind them that had Lucy's anxiety fading quickly.

Tell Natsu.

Back out the window, the two birds she was staring at earlier burrowed into their little nest together. The male cardinal rubbed his cheek against his mate, resting his beak atop her head as she lay down on the bundled twigs.

"Alright," she whispered.

…

It couldn't wait.

The burning in her gut had diminished, sure, but it came back in waves, threatening her sanity and plaguing every corner of her head and muscle in her body. The sooner she told him about this the better. That way if he was going to end things with her, he could do it before she got more attached to him and maybe, they could salvage their friendship.

She had to remember that he was more than just the man she was seeing, he was her best friend. If he didn't want to be involved anymore she still wanted him in her life.

She swallowed as she raised her knuckles to the door, knocking five times, quickly.

A few bangs, crashes, and yells echoed from inside before Natsu came to the door, cracking it open an inch. He was panting, eyes wild as they darted to and from Lucy.

"Heya, Luce—" wham, "—whatuh…watchya doin' here?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, anxiety forgotten momentarily, "I came here to talk. What about you?"

A sheen of sweat covered his brow and hairline as he bit his lip, looking back into the house, "Nothin'. Nothin' at all."

Lucy sighed, pressing a palm to her forehead. "Why don't I believe you?"

Giving the door a good shove, she barreled into his apartment with a sputtering Natsu tripping after her, hands outstretched.

"Lucy, Lucy c'mon, it's nothing! Really! I mean…like… _Luuuuuuce_!"

She ignored him.

His house—that was normally a stye on its own—was even _more_ of a wreck…if that was possible. Slashes decorated his couch and throw pillows, stuffing bursting from the newly ripped seams. Curtains, once whole, hung like streamers and a distinct fishy smell assaulted her nose.

"What the fuck?"

A small movement caught her attention out the corner of her eye. One of Natsu's discarded shirts had a ball wiggling under it, moving toward one of the sleeves.

Curious, Lucy dropped down into a squat before crawling toward the bundle, watching as a small pink nose popped out from under the fabric.

"Natsuuu…"

Bright green eyes glowed from within the darkness of the shirt before a blue head popped out and watched her intently.

"Oh my god," Lucy whispered.

 _He was so cute!_

With a slight squeal, Lucy threw the shirt off the small kitten and pulled him into her chest, nearly crushing the thing in her arms. All fluffy and adorable and—

"Lucy! Watch yourself! He'll—"

Deep purrs echoed in her ears as she nuzzled the cat's head, faintly registering him pushing back and pressing against her cheek and nose.

It was a few moments before Lucy looked back to Natsu and his hanging jaw.

"Might wanna close that, you'll catch flies," she snickered, rubbing behind the little guy's ears.

"Wh…how…what…did.. _.huh?_ " The longer she held him, the more gobsmacked Natsu was. _"How are you doing that?"_

Lucy blinked, finally taking in her boyfriend's appearance.

He was shirtless, which would've made her blush were it not for the bright, angry red scratches that criss-crossed his chest, stomach and arms. There was even one solitary one on his face which was weird since the others were in sets of three or four.

"What the hell happened to _you_?" she muttered.

"That thing!" Natsu pointed an accusatory finger at the happily purring bundle of blue fur. "Happy happened."

"…happy?" Lucy's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

Natsu let out a frustrated growl, "I picked up the evil thing at the shelter. His name is Happy."

"Happy…" the blonde echoed gently, scratching under his chin. "Suits him if you ask me."

"He _destroyed_ my _house_ ," Natsu grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not even supposed to really have an animal in this place anyway. I've gotta take him back."

"No!"

The pinket glanced down to her, one brow raised. His hardened expression softened at the sight of Happy in her arms. With a sigh, he dropped to his knees and scooted over toward her, eyeing the menace wearily.

Lucy watched as the blue furball opened one eye at Natsu's approach, tracking his movements. The paws wrapped around her hand curled, clawed tips digging into her skin slightly.

"Hey," the blonde warned, glaring at the kitten, "you be nice to him. He's your owner and if you do this again he _will_ take you back."

Happy let out a low purr-grumble, opting to burrow into her chest instead of try to attack Natsu again.

"Give him one more chance?" she asked, looking back to the annoyed welder.

He eyed Happy wearily before sighing.

"Fine."

Lucy beamed at him and Natsu couldn't help but smile back at her.

A grin that, at first adoring, lit up with an evil glint.

"But you're helping me clean up."

Carefully untangling herself from the blue animal, Lucy stood and lay Happy down on a nearby shredded pillow, tail curling around him. Her heart warmed at the sight as she turned back to Natsu with an amused smirk.

"Look on the bright side," she started, taking a step toward him.

Natsu looked at her with an unimpressed yet expectant expression.

She brought a finger up to his chest, tracing the skin on either side of the angry red lines, "We can conserve paper now if we wanna play tic-tac-toe."

Lucy had to avoid Natsu's swipes as he tried to catch her whilst running around the apartment.

…

With new curtains hung, pillows and cushions sewn shut, clothes picked up, and a whole lot of Febreze, Natsu's apartment could almost pass for presentable. Now all he had to do was pick up the piled bits of iron and tools he used for metalworking—as well as the various art pieces—and he'd be golden.

Happy had wandered over to a box to curl up in which left Natsu lounging on the couch, exhausted.

"Never knew he'd be this much work," the pinket grumbled, letting his head loll back on the sofa.

The blonde wandered over to plop down next to him, mimicking his posture. She came to rest on his chest however as he brought his arm down from the back of the couch to wrap around her shoulders, drawing her close.

With her ear pressed to his sternum, the sound of his heart and breathing overwhelmed her as she closed her eyes.

 _"You know my heart beats differently, right?"_

Lucy's eyes snapped open, lungs drawing in a shuddering breath as she pulled away from Natsu. Her own chest thrummed with a ragged pounding of her own, disobeying her brain's command to calm the fuck down.

With a palm over her left breast, the blonde did her best to breathe slowly and ease the racing of her heart. She curled her free hand into a fist before rapping the heel against her forehead.

His voice wouldn't go away.

Because even when the memories that weren't so bad surfaced, they would always be accompanied by something else.

 _Breaths in her ear as he hovered. Grunts._

She swallowed, curling into herself, pressing her forehead into her knees.

"Lucy?"

A hand rested on her back gently and she flinched at the touch, guilt immediately pooling in her stomach at the reaction.

"Fuck," she whispered, pulling away and backward on the couch, facing Natsu. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

He smiled at her wanley, "S'okay, Luce. You don't have to apologize to me."

She shook her head, "I do…the memories…you don't deserve to feel like you're doing anything wrong. You're not. I know you're not him…I know…it's just…"

Pricks dotted the backs of her eyes as her chest ached.

"Dammit," she croaked.

She bit her lip but it didn't help. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she curled into a ball, trying to cease the heaving of her chest and failing miserably. She soaked the fabric of her pants, hiding her face as best as she could from him as she cried.

"He ruined me," she whispered. "He ruined me and I can't fix it. I thought I was doing better, but I'm not, and…"

She faintly registered Natsu moving toward her on the couch. Her ears picked up the sound of his arm laying atop the headrest as the heat from him reached her exposed skin. He didn't touch her. He let her know he was here without getting too close.

He was too good for her.

"I'm broken, Natsu," she said softly. "He broke me…who the hell could love me now?"

Letting the hold on her legs loosen, Lucy sat back, glancing to him briefly before looking away.

"He's everywhere," she swallowed, the feeling in her gut slowly fading as she confessed but the worry building in her chest instead. "He's everywhere and he shouldn't be. When I hear a song in the car with you, it shouldn't take me back to when I was with him. When you hand me a fucking _apple_ it shouldn't remind me of his obsession with apples. When you…when you kiss me I shouldn't be remembering his teeth digging into my neck."

She bit her lip, avoiding the burning gaze of his. She couldn't look.

"You aren't him," her voice cracked, "and I know that. I _know_ that…and…"

She felt hands come down to cradle her face and thumbs brush away the tears.

"It's okay, Lucy," he whispered, "I was… _am_ the same."

The blonde blinked, finally looking back to Natsu.

A pained smile pulled at his features as he wiped the streaks from her face. He swallowed, breathing deep before pulling back and averting his gaze.

She watched as he turned away from her, rounding his back. Muscle moved beneath his skin as he raised an arm and bent it, fingers coming to rest between his shoulderblades.

Beneath the tips, Lucy could see thin, faded, silver scars. From how they blended into the flesh of his back, ridges gone, they were from a long time ago.

With how quiet the room was, Lucy could hear his breathing as he broke the silence.

"You asked me awhile ago how I knew somethin' had happened to you," he said softly, letting his arm fall to his lap. "I know because of what happened to me."

Lucy moved her hands from her legs to his back, tracing the faint silver lines. She felt him tense beneath her touch and though he didn't pull away, she could hear the change in his breathing.

"I was a foster kid," he told her, looking back to glance over his shoulder, "because my father was an abusive drunk who liked his leather belt a little too much."

…

She listened.

She listened and learned what had happened to Natsu. Learned about Gajeel and Erik being his foster brothers. About where his scarf had come from. About Igneel.

He told her about the night his father had come back for him; about the night Erik and Gajeel had gotten the scars she'd seen so many times now.

And he told her how after that—and even before that—he had issues with people touching him. Even though it was his foster father, or his brothers, or a friend, a touch to his skin—especially his back—always made him flinch and more often than not sent him into a panicked state.

He was facing her now, hands cradling hers and squeezing gently.

"So I know you don't mean it, and I know yer not scared of me," he tilted his head to one side to keep her gaze when she tried to look away, "and you've got nothing to feel bad about."

A smile broke over Lucy's features as new tears fell.

She nearly tackled him, arms wrapping around his neck in a grip that was most likely choking him. He didn't seem to care as he linked his arms around her waist, drawing her closer.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you," she whispered, releasing her death grip to trace the scratches on his chest with her fingertips.

Natsu said nothing as he buried his face in her hair.

After a few moments he spoke.

"Is there anything else you wanna tell me?" he asked.

Lucy was silent for a bit before she answered, "He would touch me whenever he wanted. It wasn't necessarily malicious, but I wasn't always comfortable with it. He'd be so upset if I said no I just dealt with it and figured I'd get used to it."

Lucy found herself being pushed off Natsu, gently, his hands on her upper arms and gaze serious.

"That is _not_ okay," he said firmly, eyes hard. "Someone touching you when they haven't asked or you not giving them permission is _never_ okay."

The blonde looked away, "I just figured I'd get used to it and that it wouldn't bother me anymore."

"Lucy."

She turned back to him when he didn't continue.

"That is _not_ how you go about something like that. If you're uncomfortable, you don't just throw yourself into something and hope it gets better. He should've respected you when you said no."

The blonde bit her bottom lip, resting her forehead against his chest and gritting her teeth.

"He'd pull on my hips, force his hands into my underwear even if I rolled away and said no. Get his hands under my shirt and into my bra, grip at my ass," she shook her head. "And he always wanted more. It was never enough. Never."

"Lucy…"

She looked up to him.

"You…are beautiful. _You_. Not just your body. _You._ You're beautiful, and kind, and caring, and stunning in every sense of the word. You, _yourself_ , are enough, just being who you are. If I never got to touch you again, it would be okay simply because having you in my life is more than I coulda ever hoped for," as if to prove his point, Natsu folded his hands behind his head, propping it up to keep an eye on her.

"You aren't broken even if ya feel like you are. You've been through somethin' nobody should've been exposed to and you're healing. You aren't ruined. You're living. You're surviving and you're learning to move on…" he trailed off.

"Don't let this make you feel guilty," he told her, eyes searching her face for any sign of the wretched emotion, "but sometimes when you or anyone else touch me, I flinch. Especially when something feels like leather. I know that it isn't, but a part of me is still scared."

Lucy swallowed.

"It's been over ten years, and it doesn't happen a lot. But sometimes I'll get flashes too," he rolled his shoulders, shifting under her slightly, "and when I do, I feel the fear until it's gone.

"And, Luce?"

She looked into his eyes. His painfully gorgeous, adoring eyes staring at her all gorgeous and adoringly.

"When you're in fear, I'm here for you."

She reached for the hands folded behind his head and pulled them down to her waist, burying her face in his neck and pressing her lips to the side of his throat.

"I feel so unworthy…"

His arms tightened around her.

"You are so worthy," he said lowly, resting his cheek against the side of her head. "So worthy, Luce."

Silence.

"You are _so_ loveable."

They lay there on the couch until Lucy felt something soft on her back and patter around in circles. Glancing over her shoulder, the blonde smiled at the sight of Happy curling up on the small of her back.

"Lucy?"

"Yeah?"

Natsu cocked his head to one side, brushing hair away from her face, "Would it make you feel more comfortable for me to ask permission to touch you until you tell me I don't have to anymore?"

Her eyes widened at the question, "You don't have to do that, Nats—"

"That wasn't my question," he interrupted with a smug grin.

Lucy blushed, "…if…if that's okay…"

"That's more than okay," he said softly, gaze tickling and warming her skin.

She went to lay back down on his chest but was stopped by his voice.

"Lucy?"

"Hm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

The grin that broke over her features lit up her whole face.

"What took you so long to ask?"

* * *

 _Leave a review if you'd like! :)_

 _-xb_


	4. Metal Fatigue - Omake 2

_**A/N** : ...*shoves this at you when I know I should be working on Heartstrung* Sorry...I just...it's been really rough lately. I know that that's all you guys seem to hear from me...so I'm really really sorry._

* * *

 ** _metal fatigue_**  
/ˈmedl-ˌfəˈtēɡ/

 _noun_

loss of strength in something made of _  
_metal that could cause it to break

* * *

She'd been in bed for a few days when she got a call from Natsu.

"Lu, you okay?" His voice was gravelly and wind garbled his words, but she could still make out the worry in his voice. "Haven't heard from you in awhile."

He'd been at a convention out of country with the rest of Fairy Tail, and from the pictures they'd been posting on Twitter, it had gone extremely well. Various cosplayers were sporting weapons tailored for LARP combat—which meant all resin, no metal—and a few movie scouts looked pleased with their prototypes.

Natsu had called her one night to gush about being scouted for a set of Wolverine claws he'd made, and that he'd given out a few cards with promises of calls. He was cautiously optimistic, but excited all the same for the praise alone and Lucy couldn't stop the lazy smile that had crossed her face at his rambling. He'd woken her up in the middle of the night, but it'd totally been worth it.

That was a week ago, and she hadn't messaged him since.

She couldn't.

She'd only found out it had been a week when Erik had called. She'd ignored the ringing landline in favor of listening to his voice on the answering machine tell her she'd missed her weekly appointment, which she'd never done before and he was really worried.

He'd shown up on her doorstep a few hours later. Apparently he was quite adept at picking locks.

He was breaking all his rules at that point, he'd told her. Getting this personal with a patient was wrong, ethically, and she didn't doubt that there was another rule somewhere he was breaking. She couldn't care less at that point though. She didn't much care about anything.

She'd expected him to be scared. Frantic. Trying to pull her out of a bed she hadn't gotten out of in days and give her some spiel about her being strong or some shit like that.

He didn't.

He just knelt beside her bed, pulled his legs under him cross-legged, and stayed there while she cried until she was ready to talk. Which had taken some time, but she'd eventually gotten the words out.

Her ex had gotten out on probation.

She felt weak, being so terrified of him. He was a pathetic, lowly, insecure, insignificant excuse for a man and human being who didn't fucking deserve any sort of emotion from her whatsoever. He didn't. He fucking didn't.

So why was she having panic attack after panic attack?

Why couldn't she move?

Why couldn't she breathe?

Why couldn't she stop being so fucking afraid of someone who couldn't hurt her anymore? She had a restraining order that kept him out of the state. She had no reason to look over her shoulder.

But she did.

And of course this had happened a few hours after all her friends had hopped on a plane. She hadn't had anyone to talk to, and by the time she'd heard from them again they were all having such a good time she didn't want to dampen their mood or make them come back.

Which they totally would. Even if Natsu was the only one who knew all the details, and Levy and Gajeel who had inklings about her anxiety and PTSD, she had no doubt they would all turn around to be there for her.

She didn't want them to put their career on the back burner. It wasn't like her problems were bad enough for that.

To which Erik face-palmed.

She knew she was being unreasonable. Logically, she knew that there was no point to comparing the severity of her situation to others because it didn't matter who was worse off…what mattered was this shouldn't have happened to her in the first place and the emotional scars were severe.

She thought she'd been doing better. She really did. She was happy, and smiling, and her relationship with Natsu was thriving. They'd been a lot closer since she'd told him what happened, but nothing too serious. He was patient with her, and she was insanely grateful for that every day.

He deserved so much better than someone broken like her.

That's how she felt at the moment anyway.

Erik had stayed with her the rest of the day, made her some food with the scarce amount of ingredients left in her kitchen, and made her promise to come into the office in a few days or he would call Natsu himself.

When she threatened doctor-patient confidentiality, he'd simply told her her mental health was more important to him than his license and he'd risk being vague to Natsu about her if it meant she'd be okay.

She didn't want to need someone else. She needed to stand on her own two feet. Her needy dependence was what got her into this situation in the first place.

Fuck she was pathetic.

"'m fine," she mumbled into her phone, avoiding the glare of the screen. She'd kept all the lights off in her house and the blinds shut, so she was ridiculously sensitive to any kind of light. She could see in the dark at this point.

There was a pause on the other end before his voice came through, "I'm coming over."

Panic filled her stomach, "No, Natsu, don't—!"

There was a slight click as the call disconnected and Lucy threw her phone at the wall with a hissed, "Fuck."

The airport wasn't far from their complex, which meant she had an hour to take a shower, stifle her anxiety, and act like a respectable human being.

Simple…right?

…

Washing the grime from her hair and skin proved to be more taxing than usual.

That'd be obvious since she had to wash her hair three times, and run a loofah over every inch she could reach until the water was clear. Just when she felt like she'd gotten all the dirt off…she'd feel his hands on her waist, or lips on her neck and she'd scrub as the tears fell down her face.

If her skin was raw, she couldn't feel him on her.

Finally clean, she'd towelled her hair and slipped into sweatpants and a long-sleeved turtleneck. She felt good in them. Long sleeves. They were warm and she could wrap them around her fingers and clutch at the balled up ends until her hands weren't showing. It was comforting.

The ring of her doorbell sounded through her apartment. She shivered slightly at the water from her hair seeping into her upper back as she made her way to the front door. She checked the peephole to make sure it was Natsu before unlatching the chain, deadbolt, and handle.

She pulled the door open slowly to a puzzled looking Natsu. His eyes flickered from her to the locks.

Sometimes she hated how observant he was.

"C'mon in," she smiled, stepping to the side. "I missed you."

He shuffled in hesitantly, closing the door behind him as she made her way into her living room. His steps followed close behind her and paused once she passed by her couch. She swallowed the anxiety from her throat to her stomach and with a deep breath did her best to ignore it as she opened her food cabinets. "You hungry?"

He still hadn't said anything.

When she didn't answer, she glanced over her shoulder and the serious expression he was wearing made her body go numb. She knew what that look meant.

She couldn't deal with this right now.

"Lucy?" he tilted his head to one side, eyes giving her a once over. "What's goin' on?"

He took a few steps toward her and flinched as she involuntarily backed away from him, the corner of the counter digging into the soft flesh of her hips. She bit her lower lip, hard and closed her eyes, trying to even out her shallow breathing.

"Luce?"

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes and she pressed the heels of her hands into them, deep. She clenched her jaw, baring her teeth and biting back a sob she felt bubbling in her chest. The pain wasn't dissipating, if anything it was growing and no amount of pulling at her hair was helping.

She didn't realize she'd been holding her breath until she was on the floor with the chill of the tile seeping through the fabric of her shirt and pants into her skin. Somewhere in the back of her head Natsu's frantic calling registered, but she couldn't concentrate on it right now. Her heart was pounding and she couldn't do it. She couldn't take it. She couldn't…she…

Warm hands cradled her face.

At that touch, her eyes snapped up to Natsu as his thumbs brushed away her tears. Her breathing came back in short gasps and her head spun.

She was nearly crushed to his chest.

She couldn't make out what he was murmuring in her ear, but it didn't matter. The vibrations from his chest reverberated and rumbled into her very bones, soothing her body before her mind. The more pressure he exerted, the easier it was for her heart to slow and for her to calm down.

It felt like hours but was most likely only a few minutes before she was able to bring her hands up to hug him back. She gripped tightly at his shoulder blades and buried her face in his neck. Her tears were slick against the bridge of her nose and tops of her cheeks and she felt her skin slip with each heave of her body as she cried.

Eventually her eyes hurt and had no more tears to shed. Her voice hitched in her chest a few times, slightly hiccups swallowed by the pressure of her lips against Natsu's neck.

Somehow they'd gotten into a position with Lucy cradled to his chest bridal style and Natsu's back to the cupboards below her countertop. The tile's gotta be uncomfortable under him, especially with her weight on his lap.

She moved to get up but his fingers and arms tightened around her to keep her in place.

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" he asked softly.

Lucy opened her eyes slightly, "'cause you would've come home."

"Damn straight I would've," he pulled back to get a look at her face, "you're way more important than a damn convention."

She shook her head, "No, that was important for the future of your career, Natsu. No way I'm getting in the middle of that."

"Lucy…" His chest heaved in a sigh.

She didn't say anything. She couldn't.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Natsu spoke up.

"I hope one day you'll realize, just how beautiful you are."

Lucy blinked.

"You're so kind, Lucy. You come and visit us and bring us food—always home cooked, never anything from the store. Ya help Levy with some engraving when it comes to fonts with a fresh perspective. You bake Erza cake so special she now refuses to eat anything else. You helped to fix Gajeel's gloves when metal burned through them. You pick up Gray's clothes from around the barn when he loses them, and are doing what you can to help him kick his smoking habit. I don't think you realize how big that actually is. We've all tried one way or another, you're the first to help make it stick." She could feel him smile against her hair though her eyes were closed.

"Lucy," he whispered, "we all love you. So much. You're family to us now. Your happiness is ours. Your pain is ours. We want to help and we're here for you. We've all got your back and you don't have to be afraid."

She knew that, she did.

"That's exactly why I am," she said softly.

He looked down at her and she avoided his gaze.

"I'm afraid he'll hurt you guys," she started, "which is stupid because you guys can take care of yourself and there's no way he could get all of you…"

"He's behind bars, Lucy," Natsu offered, "if there was even a possibility, that would kill it right there."

Lucy went rigid in his arms.

Natsu felt it.

"Lu…"

Lucy bit her lip and buried her face in his neck, "He got out a few days ago."

She heard the thunk of Natsu's head falling back against the cupboard and felt an arm shift to slide a palm down his face. The tips of his fingers dug deep into his cheek as he covered his mouth, muscle in his jaw flexing as it clenched and unclenched.

Lucy took the opportunity to pull herself out of his lap.

"Fuck, I'm pathetic," she breathed, letting out a sharp laugh. "He can't get near me, he doesn't know where I am, and all of this shit happened _years_ ago and yet his sorry fucking ass reduces me to a pathetic pile of sobbing trash." She paced in her kitchen. "It wasn't even that bad what he did. I'm fucking—"

"Don't. You. Dare. Say that."

Lucy looked down at Natsu, eyes following him as he stood up and came toward her. He once again cradled her face in his hands, but this time was so she couldn't look away.

"It was bad what he did," he said firmly. "It was brutal. And awful. And _wrong_. And in my opinion he should rot in a fucking cell for the rest of his life for that. You have every damn right to feel how you do. Being scared is a conditioned response. It does _not_ make you pathetic, and you will get through this. You just need time." He didn't blink. His voice didn't waver, and his gaze didn't flicker.

"I don't know how much more time I have to give," she choked, biting her lip. "Natsu…I…"

Her knees gave out, but Natsu caught her this time, drawing her into him.

"I'm so tired of this," she cried, voice muffled by his shirt. "I don't know how much more I can take. The panic…the anxiety…I'm going to be looking over my shoulder forever. I…"

Warm hands rubbed up and down the length of her spine. Having him this close was terrifying. She wanted him close. She wanted him closer. She cared more for him than was healthy right now.

But he helped. Just being there helped.

She was so selfish.

"I can't be what you want me to be," she confessed.

Because that was it. That was everything.

She loved him.

She loved Natsu. She wanted a life with him. A relationship. She wanted to be his girlfriend, and go on dates, and hold his hand, and hug him, and sleep next to him, and be physical with him…intimate…

But she was broken. Oh so broken, and he was so kind and patient she didn't doubt he'd wait forever.

And the guilt was killing her.

And she told him just that.

He was horrified.

"Have I been making you feel pressured?" he asked softly, hiding as much panic as he could.

"No," Lucy answered, "not at all. I just…"

"Lucy."

She looked up to him.

"I'm not going to lie, I want all of those things too. I do," he smiled small. "I feel the same way about you."

She didn't tell him the love part. She was scared enough about that already without him possibly knowing.

"But I don't want it right now, either."

She blinked.

"We both have things we're going through," his voice was low, nearly a whisper, breath ghosting over her cheeks as he leaned to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "But above all else, I do not want to push you."

She leaned into the warmth of his palm.

"Let me tell you this."

She opened her eyes to look at him.

"Remember this," he said firmly, and she nodded.

"You are allowed to say no. I will never get mad at you for it. I will never think less of you for it. I would much rather you say no and tell me when you're feeling like this than find out later that I've hurt you. Me _or_ anyone else in regards to literally anything. Okay?"

She nodded, biting at her bottom lip, "Okay."

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "You have all of us now. He's not getting anywhere near you. He'll never touch you again. I promise."

She knew that logically. It was her heart and anxiety that refused to listen to reason.

But, she then found, they'd listen to Natsu instead.


	5. Beat - Omake 3

_A/N: Heartstrung is going well...but I couldn't sleep tonight. This was rattling around and I couldn't get to sleep without writing it down._ _  
_

* * *

 **beat**  
/bēt/

 _verb  
_

flatten or shape metal by striking  
it repeatedly with a hammer

* * *

She sat in her little alcove, where she'd first seen Natsu run nearly a year ago now. It was hard to believe it was that long, he made time fly for her, which was a relief considering the gruelling months she'd spent in constant panic-attack-mode.

Today wasn't a day where she felt like that though, no.

Today was a day she was just...not there.

She wasn't talking to anybody. Nothing was going on in any of her apps or measly excuse for social media accounts. Her friends weren't around. She didn't have an appointment with Erik. Her apartment was scary quiet.

Her body was numb, and the stupidest thing had triggered it.

An epiphany of sorts.

As soon as her brain made the distinction, it was impossible for her it to stop. Happiness and reassurance conflicted with her anger and self-hatred. Even little realizations couldn't undo years of conditioning and feelings, though they could help on a new path.

Though she was lost in thought, she absentmindedly registered the sound of the door opening and closing, and Natsu coming up behind her. She made no move. Just continued to stare out the window.

The room was still void of any sort of noise, and he seemed to pick up on the atmosphere, electing to stay quiet instead of ask her what was going on.

She always told him when she was ready anyway.

"Did you know, that there's a difference between sexual attraction, and sexual arousal?"

Out of context, it would seem like a random question, but for her, it was the furthest thing from. She turned to Natsu, who was staring at her with a furrowed brow, puzzled by how random she was, but still staying quiet.

"You can't manipulate someone's level of sexual attraction toward another person," Lucy looked down at her fingers and picked at her half-bitten nails. She'd gnawed through them again in her bit of anxiety that day. "But, you _can_ manipulate someone using sexual arousal."

Her cuticles were completely destroyed.

"One is emotional," she continued, "the other is physical. You can't control it. But if you're good enough, you can make someone think that they want it, and then hate themselves when their emotions conflict with their body."

Natsu came to sit down on the floor at her feet. He looked up at her to where she was still sitting cross-legged.

"I'm...wired weird," she looked back out the window. "I never felt sexual attraction to him. I never really... _wanted_ him when I looked at him. That just...never happened for me, and when I tried to tell him I just didn't work like that...the guilt he made me feel for something I just _could. not. feel_ for him, was..."

She shook her head.

"It's only recently, I've figured out the difference...and that he'd been manipulating me from day one. To give him a chance. Take pity on him, and because I didn't feel like I could say no..." she shook her head. "I never felt like I could say no. When I tried...he would never take it for an answer.

"I'm such a fucking idiot," she breathed, "letting myself get jerked around like that. I know it wasn't my fault, but..."

She felt a warm hand wrap around her foot and give it a squeeze.

She looked down at him.

"Natsu...I _want_ you," she said softly, "and that is the weirdest thing to me because the more I know you...the more I want you, and I didn't the first time we met."

The small smile that broke out over his face make her heart clench.

"Some people develop feelings, emotional _and_ sexual, over time, Lucy," he told her. "That's perfectly okay. And it's okay if it never happens too."

"I never felt like this...I've...I've never felt this before," she whispered, looking away and down. "It's terrifying. I thought I was broken."

Natsu squeezed her foot again until she looked at him.

"He manipulated you until you couldn't tell the difference," Natsu said. "Hell...you didn't even know there was a difference in the first place. That's not your fault. That doesn't mean you're broken. You just didn't have those kinds of feelings for him in the first place."

"But I let it happen..." she said softly.

"You didn't know, Lucy," he said firmly. "You felt trapped. You were trapped. And when you finally knew you needed to get out, you did. None of this is your fault."

"It feels like it is. I could have stopped it, if I'd just said no."

"But you did say no. He just refused to take it for an answer. People need to learn to respect that."

Tears fell down her cheeks.

He was staring at her...with such...understanding, and it was just who he was. The caring. The loving. He didn't need to try, it was just a part of him.

She didn't know someone like that could even exist.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she breathed.

"More than enough," Natsu stood from his place on the floor to pull her into him. "More than enough and you deserve so, so much more."


	6. Verdigris - Omake 4

_A/N: …yeah. I've got nothin' here. Hope you're having a good day, yeah?_

* * *

 **verdigris**  
/ˈvərdəˌɡrēs/

 _noun  
_

a green or green-blue substance that appears  
on the metal copper as a result of a reaction to the air

* * *

She didn't know how to make it stop.

The fan in the bathroom whirred. The fucking antique clock swung back and forth tick, tick, ticking away. The air throughout the house whistled and the lights buzzed ever so softly, but enough to make her want to rip her hair out.

And her heart ached. The backs of her eyes pricked.

She didn't know how to make it stop.

And even when she turned off the fan, covered the clock, and turned out the lights…

Her blood pumped and rushed through her ears and it was too loud.

Everything was too loud.

Her heart hurt.

She wanted…

She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know how to make it stop. She didn't know why it started…an hour ago she was just fine.

But she was alone.

So, so alone.

She willed the tears to fall, but they wouldn't come. Full of ache, yet empty at the same time.

She wanted her mom.

She wanted to be small, when she didn't know what pain was. When her mother was everything to her, and she could curl up on her lap and be okay. She didn't want this. She didn't want to be an adult. She didn't…

She wished she could call her mom, because her father was no help. He didn't understand.

He wasn't a bad person. Not really. But he didn't understand her. He didn't much care about her on a level that would help.

If he ever did hear that she felt the way she did, he came back with how he'd felt that way at her age, or some other bullshit like that. This wasn't just some phase that would pass. She'd dealt with this disconnect before everything that had happened.

 _'Man, your relationship with him really did a number on you, huh?'_

He had no idea.

She'd made sure of that.

He didn't need to know. He wouldn't get it anyway. She'd tried to give him a chance time and time again but…

She shook her head.

She didn't want to be here.

She couldn't breathe.

Dammit. She was stronger than this. She knew she was. She wasn't this…this coward who got so bothered by something that she freaked the fuck out about it. She didn't…she was okay being alone.

So why couldn't she?

She grabbed the key to her apartment and locked the door behind her. The asphalt was cold beneath her feet, wind crept beneath the folds of her shirt. This kind of dark felt safe. Her apartment didn't. It creaked.

She stood outside Natsu's door. His light was off. It was late. Should she even knock?

She gripped her phone in her hand.

 _You up?_

His door opened within seconds.

She blinked.

"Hi," he whispered, breathing a little laboured. Half his hair smashed to the side of his head and his shirt was wrinkled.

She reached up and ran her fingers through his bedhead to smooth it out a bit.

"I woke you up," she said softly.

He shook his head. "I was just reading."

She let her hand drop and then crossed her arms. Her voice refused to cooperate with her.

Wordlessly, he held the door open, and she ducked under his arm inside. She wiped her feet on the mat, though there was nothing really on them, and slowly made her way to his bedroom.

She climbed under his comforter and buried her face in his pillow. It smelled like him. She didn't know how to describe it…but it never failed to ease her anxiety.

And once it eased, the tears fell.

She felt the bed dip beside her and arms wrap around her waist. Warmth seeped into her back, thighs, and calves as Natsu secured himself around her.

He didn't say anything. She didn't say anything.

He found her arm and weaved his fingers through hers.

He squeezed.

She cried.

He held her tighter.

She didn't want it to be dark. She wanted it to be a day where she could just…not have to do anything or talk to anyone. Just a day where she didn't have to feel how she was feeling or have to get out of bed and function.

"Did…did something happen, or…?"

She shook her head. "No. Not about that."

She felt him nod. "Just one of those days then?"

She swallowed and squeezed his hand again. "Yeah." Her voice cracked.

"What can I do?" he asked.

She shook her head again. "I don't…I don't know."

He gave her body a squeeze and pulled her into him briefly before letting her go. "Is this okay?"

She nodded.

"Let me know if I can do anything?"

"Yeah."

His breathing was shallow. Soft. It gave her ears something to focus on other than the blood rushing in her body and the little creaks in the room.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He just ran a thumb over hers.


End file.
